Thursday, 25 February 2010


I've noticed recently that leggings are high fashion.  I asked my girlfriend why and she says it's for fat chicks and that they hide cellulite.  If you haven't seen the look, it's leggings and a really long t-shirt so you don't see the wobble.  This may be often accompanied by a HUGE belt which covers up the ENTIRE stomach region. I wonder what those are for....Hmm.

I've seen plenty of skinny women wearing them, but you know what women are like; anything to pretend they think they're fat.  Quick, give me some attention, I'm super-skinny but I'll pretend I think I'm fat, by doing this I'll also rub it in everyone else's face that I'm skinny and they're probably overweight.  Now I'm going to pretend that I eat loads of food when in fact I haven't had a period for 6 months and can't open my mouth properly in case you see that I've got scurvy.

I'll be honest, they do make women's legs look sleeker, but I know this is happening and then wonder how huge those legs are without the leggings.  Hopefully I'll never know.

There was a discussion at work about them as they are banned under the dress code because they aren't 'business casual'.  I agreed that I would overlook the wearing of leggings as long as there was no camel-toe visible.  Plainly what the company doesn't want is women wearing leggings and a tiny top, because, let's face it, while you'd love to see *random good looking woman's name here* in that attire, most of our colleagues don't look like that.  Aside from that, fatties would complain like mad.  I've had to scrap an entire Beach Fun Day because of fatties bitching about normal looking women planning to wear bikinis, pretending it would be disgusting and think of the children, instead of admitting they would be horribly jealous and are profoundly ashamed of their own unattractiveness.  Yea, I know the score fatties!

I was about to state that it's strange how you don't hear of men being asked to tone down the tight pants, but then I remembered that Jeremy at work asked me if I really had to wear such tight jeans on dress-down days.  I'm not in the same league as Steve Perry but I have to admit those are some pretty tight jeans.  I don't like the 'jeans hanging down around my knees so everyone can see my Calvin Kleins and I think I'm dead cool but in fact I'm a complete fucktard who pretends he's an individual although I follow all the latest trends in music and fashion including this one which is designed to separate out the cretins' look so I'm sorry Jeremy but you'll have to continue to feel inadequate before my overwhelming manliness.

It pays to advertise.  If you think women don't cock-watch you're sadly mistaken.  Unfortunately ladies, men don't give a shit how sleek your legs are if you've got a fat ass, no tits and/or a face like a bulldog licking piss off a nettle.

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