Thursday, 25 February 2010

You drive like a Doos

The English equivalent to the word 'doos' (pronounced sort of like 'do-us') is so vulgar I'm not going to use it

Just answer honestly, to yourself.  Do you...
  • Have your seat so far back you have to lock your elbows to steer
  • Gesticulate at other drivers when they don't indicate/signal
  • Think that being able to zoom past someone at high speed makes you potent
  • Believe in any way that your driving ability makes you a better person, more attractive to women or more admired and respected by men
  • Have a white car
  • Listen to clubland, house, rave, funk, rap, acid, bongo, dance, trance, reggae or any other music written by someone with an IQ of less than 90, so loudly that a person outside your vehicle can hear it
  • Break the speed limit on a highway but then attempt to show everyone around you how awesome you are at sticking to the highway code by driving primarily in the left-hand lane; having to continuously change lanes because you're driving 20mph faster than everyone else
  • Have blacked out windows
  • Put the top down the second the temperature rises above zero letting everyone see how absolutely fabulous you are with your sunglasses on even though you are fucking freezing
Now, I'd just like to point out, that nobody is watching you.  When you think you are being cool, nobody cares, and if they even notice they think that you are an attention seeking wanker. Which you are.

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