Sunday, 21 March 2010

Why does Jamie Oliver Twist?

Huntington, West Virginia.  America's fattest city.

Why would someone come up with that epithet?  Just hurt everyone's feelings in Huntington why don't you?  What's that?  Calling them fat as fuck isn't enough?  They're toothless and poor too?  Charming.

To pile on the misery some TV exec thought it would be a good idea to send Jamie Oliver there to rub it in their faces.  Cos that's what I'd do.  Residents of a town fat as fuck?  Send them a chef.

One resident has totally kicked off and has said something along the lines of:

'They think we're all fat as fuck here, but it's bullshit.  We're not waddling down the road eating pizza all day long.  We have our goddamn teeth and we ALL have masters degrees'

On the other hand, their mayor isn't setting a good example as he's 5'9 and weights 233 pounds.

Change this to a man and that's how a mayor should look.  Not really fat at all.

They have more pizza parlors in Huntington than the entire state of West Virginia has fitness clubs, and the mayor has commented that he has never seen anywhere so 'hot-dog oriented' and then blamed it on their culture.  Appalachian.  What does that even mean?

'People from Glasgow are always drunk.  It's their culture.  Scottish.'

Referring briefly back to that article linked at the top, the first photograph is just weird.  Some crazily skinny chick, you can't see if she's got her teeth, is measuring some blokes waist.  But when you read the caption, it's not a bloke, it's a 9 year old boy.  Holy shit!  And his name is Noah Retcher.  What? Is this some sort of joke? Is that a name or a description?  Apparently bulimics are fat because all the purging doesn't really work and by the time they've figured it out it's 150 pounds too late.

Anyway Jamie Oliver, affectionately known to the British media as 'The Cheeky Twat' poked his nose in to try to reduce the level of morbid obesity in Huntington, West Virginia, The World's fattest city.  His welcome was not as warm as he expected.

On a radio show Jamie was told by the DJ that, in Huntington, 'we don't want to sit around eating lettuce all day'.

Now, I don't know about you, and admittedly, I am quite a tough guy, but if someone said that to me, I would probably respond with something like, 'I don't give a shit what you want you prick, I'm getting paid a fucking fortune to come to this God forsaken shithole and make a freakshow TV program about how absolutely awful you Huntington assholes are, so keep your worthless opinions to yourself and promote my show!!!!'

But Jamie Oliver, even though he has a giant head and could totally intimidate loads of people

with his 'I'm homeless and got nothin to lose, bitch' look, did something entirely different...

He started crying like a little girl.  He actually said 'they don't understand me'.  

You know, I'd like to see a serious sort of television presenter, like Ross Kemp, turn up at Oliver's house with a team of tongue-reduction specialist plastic surgeons and a troupe of elocution lesson women to fix him up and see how he likes it.


  1. That is some mad story. I can't believe they are subjecting a whole town to Jamie Oliver like this. Funny stuff.

  2. Nigella Lawson maybe, but Jamie Oliver, no thank you :)